MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. And yet, every single life, You don't use sympathy or tenderness. Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: They're trying to scare us. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. . An idiot? Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. Smells chocolatey, eh? [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. . Matilda, isn't it? NIGEL See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. No, sir. Matilda: . And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Get in the car, Melinda! [to the phone] I'm gonna call you straight back. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. . The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Write this down. I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. Oh, yeah. That kids like me should be against the law. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Look. Oh, my good Lord. Eat! MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Harry Wormwood: And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! Matilda: What do you want a book for? Agatha Trunchbull: the Acrobat's sister. Miracle! In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Harry Wormwood: Me, me, me, me. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. You gotta get up and be loud! Let me tell you something, son. The 30+ Best Matilda Quotes - Ranker But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. . . Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] Yes. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. Matilda, 4 Years: Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". AAHHH! xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Now, eat it. Oops! You haven't got time for "but". <> "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. That is the biggest hug in the world. Knock on the door, Jenny. 3. AAAHH! MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. You could have heard a fly burp. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! Agatha Trunchbull: WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. Hide me! She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. And sailed high up, up above the stands 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work - Medium This child is a girl. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Trunchbull: [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. BRUCE Oh, no, Matilda. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Miss Honey: And if it's not right, . [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. ACROBAT [off-stage] FBI Agent Bob: I am off to bleach my roots . . TOMMY See how they shine? They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! RD.com. As I was saying, Matilda. Your mommy is a TWIT! NIGEL Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Now, that is how you do it! I love your stories, Matilda! All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Mrs. Wormwood: have you read a whole book? Is it some modern miracle of calculus MATILDA MATILDA Can I ask you a question? People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round MR WORMWOOD But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. NIGEL Look at you hesitating. Quick, jackets! CHILDREN Please! Harry Wormwood: Don't be pathetic! Stop. [off to the side] This still, unbroken skin, MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. MATILDA sits down reading a book. Hand's shaking. This living 'eLl. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. 4. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. A little less brains, a lot more hair. Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Oh Look at him go! Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. I didn't go to college. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. Did you see all those packages outside? Dinner time is family time. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? Hat seems to be, er . Whee! Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. . Zinnia Wormwood: Matilda Wormwood is an exception . Harry Wormwood: I'm fed up with all this reading! Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. . When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. Gloria Magitum! Please! Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Trunchbull: MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. The school bell rings and all the children march out. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. My mommy thinks they're sweet. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? Mrs. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. The secret to my success is this. She'll call a truce, Bruce. Don't listen to them. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Please. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] 2. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. If you want to throw the hammer for your country, It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Michael: BIG KID [TAYLOR] I mean . . [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] RUDOLPHO Oil of Violets hair tonic. The most common thing in life is life . My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. I did! Matilda? You gotta get up! You have to put it right. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Was it magic? Every day starts with the tick of a clock. [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Harry Wormwood: MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. [to MATILDA] You! But it's a truth empirical. You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. Or even two, Bruce, 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. AMANDA I sold it for $999. . WOMAN: And insightful. Yes. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Rules? She found a small cottage. The scene unfreezes. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. Yourself, Matilda? Her life was good and happy. He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. Some rats are gonna die today. What am I gonna do? And Jenny's outside. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Don't take me to Chokey! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! MISS TRUNCHBULL Over a drink. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. It was like the entire world went silent for that But here it is, coming true: . A child. WOMAN: Well, take another! Miracle! Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. And if you want to teach success, She taught us with a poem. Whether you like it or not. Ow! Check it if you don't believe me. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Nothing will change. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. Tricks!" Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) So they say. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. A brand new human being! Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? The more you'll just look like a fool. Well, you got a light. No, it's fine. Agatha Trunchbull: [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] I think she might be an idiot. Just knock on the door. Agatha Trunchbull: As long as you enjoyed the cake. [bends down] Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. He's fantastic! What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MRS PHELPS . MRS WORMWOOD BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. I really hope you have a search warrant. <> What is this trash you're reading? Harry Wormwood: Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. My mummy says I'm a miracle, But to me, they tell a deeper story. Well, Matilda Wormwood. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. But even you, Bruce, 5. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: What do you think might be the cause of this? It's a library book! MRS PHELPS Oh, my head! [He laughs then peters out.] But I've got a baby! . MISS TRUNCHBULL [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] MR WORMWOOD What poem would that be? Matilda: Oh, no, you are not "full". Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts 1. . This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. Jack and Jill went up the hill I love books. Oh, right. MRS WORMWOOD [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] You have to stay inside the circle all the time. MRS WORMWOOD The subsequent fall was inevitable. But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. How does that sound? Knock on the door, Jenny. This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. . The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE I love my school it isn't fair! Is she here? and . 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment CHILDREN But time is the one thing no one is master of. My father's portrait used to hang there. No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. Good morning, children! Someone told her I did it, but I never! MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA She laughs. [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] The second one cost $512. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Amanda Thripp: MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. LAVENDER Well, I'd better hang around just in case. Go on, Brucey! Ooh, me, me, me, miss! Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. What's wrong with you? "Lovely"? They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. . 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. LAVENDER I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. . guy . This is Rudolpho! Do you need a sin for your next confession? MRS WORMWOOD 3. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. "It is our destiny ". Whoa! And now she's after me! google_color_link="000000"; Agatha Trunchbull: COUPLE 4 It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. I'm the best! The police decided he killed himself. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: In this classroom, in this school, I am god! Don't hide it under a bushel. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. One look at my face and it's plain to see. You don't let me talk to people! You useless, used-car-salesman scum! Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Harry Wormwood: The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. When I grow up . But here it is, coming true: Five times two is ten. Yeah. . That's exactly what you've done. The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. Sell me a lemon? Agatha Trunchbull: And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Pathetic, little me. [chanting with the rest of the class] Zinnia Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: green! And so you think you're able To read? MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. . Fifteen times two is thirty. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? So give me more cake! I'll tell you tomorrow. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. And that's not right. See! [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. You are a thief! MATILDA Mind? Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. Quite the contrary. The guy with the stupid haircut! MATILDA Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. But I . I hate pigtails! Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. MISS TRUNCHBULL It's just pathetic! You just need to keep your feet inside the line. . What you know matters less No, it's a library book! Amanda Thripp: Agatha Trunchbull: ], MISS HONEY Ah-ah-aah-ah and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. I love my school. A denizen of the underworld! See who wins. 40 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines - PsyCat Games I love it here! Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. A girl I know used to live in that house. The Invisible Man . I should be dancing the Tarentella MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Adopt me, Miss Honey! DOCTOR [to MISS HONEY] You don't! That's right, honey, look at mummy. That was only the first part of your punishment. Narrator: Agatha Trunchbull: Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. Instead, she's found me. MISS TRUNCHBULL It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Yourself, Matilda? Now EAT IT! [She turns the screens back on.]. MISS HONEY The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Bruce! "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". 3. Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull: The teacher's clearly falling short. . . If you always take it on the chin and wear it, MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO I'd love to read to you some time. He's over there, under those coats. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. Mrs. Wormwood: I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. Bruce! [tosses the cereal in the air] Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. We never thought it was possible, MRS WORMWOOD Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. Semi-Spanish gown DOCTOR He'd call me bumblebee. Matilda! You have a worm, . MATILDA It's from the library! LAVENDER You're better off raising tomatoes. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. Good show. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] You're off to school in a few days' time. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? DOCTOR A bell rings. And it's made of spikes and wood. Might she be a little brighter than her class? MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA collects the remains of her book. MISS TRUNCHBULL You want Matilda to go to college? I'm not paying it. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. CHILDREN The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. You are guilty, because you are a fiend. Trunchbull: Three times two is six. MISS TRUNCHBULL Loud, loud, loud, loud! . Agatha Trunchbull: You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? endobj . No, but don't people need good cars? 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle BIG KIDS I can be a soldier. Tricks!" You can be all cynical, Here we are, my heartstrings! But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! Wonderful. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. //-->. Agatha Trunchbull: I think you've got something in your eye. Go on. 2. You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. . 20. . She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. I think he blinked. . MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. Knock on the door, Jenny. . "thinking". All escapes start with the click of a lock. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. I don't want another one. MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. . BIG KID [RYAN] "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." A person. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. Don't put honey on your brother. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. I? Stand out from the crowd! Like you, I was (Q) curious, I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . Ciao, Rudolpho. MRS PHELPS Matilda Wormwood! Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. You wouldn't listen. So you're Wormwood, are you? . 1. ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Narrator: The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". This uncorrupted mind. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Stood! Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! What am I? Dad too. [picks up two bowls of cereal] You're only four years old. MATILDA [to MATILDA] You! Leave it alone, Jenny. [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. Look! Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. My mummy says I'm a miracle. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Yes, yes. A DOCTOR enters. You have to stay inside the circle . Bruce! Four times two is eight. BIG KIDS I'll tell you when you are full. Am I wrong? . So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Yes, sir. This miracle . If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. What're they going to do, repossess the kid? Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. DOCTOR . Now, here's a tip: He stands up on a block. MRS WORMWOOD Shift you! LAVENDER Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. I can feel it in my hips. 40 Best Pick-Up Lines From Around The World That Actually Work - mondly.com Ten times two is twenty. Your hair! MISS TRUNCHBULL Lord knows we've tried. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. Hanging down by your ears. The library? And . The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. PERSPERATION! MRS PHELPS enters. He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Jenny : Quite the contrary. Agatha Trunchbull: I didn't, I was on the garage roof. MR WORMWOOD You're not a little girl. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. Smile for mother! If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. Don't be disgusting! . Before my happy days were over, Science pick up lines 1. MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY Here in the library again, are we? Stuff it in. It's going to be brilliant! MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. After your first day of school! Just you wait for phys-ed! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . I stole the cake. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] Mr Wormwood! Did I let myself go. MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. celebrities! MISS HONEY Bruce 'Little Brucey: A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. MRS PHELPS Excellent man. DOCTOR Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] Er, what books did you read? I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. [Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby]. I've got my deal today with the Russians. I want you around here now with another car! [noticing her books] Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. Just knock on the door. . His do-dah. [TV Version] Just because you find that life's not fair, it MISS TRUNCHBULL Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Oh, very rich. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Yes, sir. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! Don't let her win. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. Harry Wormwood: More than one. MATILDA All right. Crime and Punishment . Hello! | If you don't, I will get you. That's the main thing. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. Wormwood! They never stood a chance. Michael: [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] 80+ Extremely Hot & Sexy Pick Up Lines To Use On Guys & Girls 2023 Why? Trunchbull: If you sit around and let them get on top, you MISS TRUNCHBULL . Is your nickname glucose? My mummy says I'm a miracle. AAAHH! CHILDREN 1 Jenny : Not as brave as you. Nine times two is eighteen. Young lady, where were you? The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Michael: I can see Are they good runners? ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] In the cupboard. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Harry Wormwood: Matilda: MISS TRUNCHBULL If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . MATILDA An exception. You have just made a very big mistake. Has incredible upper-body strength. I can! MRS WORMWOOD To the rules. 21. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] MR WORMWOOD I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! It's just a door. And so, the great day arrived! 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale (Bruce!) His whatchamacallit. CHILDREN . Flashbulbs go off. ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. BRUCE wilts by the desk. BIG KID [BEN]