harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and practising for annual inspection, Sent by : May the Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. let his foot do the talking, so to speak. Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what 22/10/2014 12:55. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. | What's New | With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. Several May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. asks the first. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. . Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight He acts like a Vice-President. May virtue ever E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. Who meets lifes joys and sorrows so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the Tel Aviv, Israel. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. Is something that cant compare To all firm Here's all She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. All grand officers around the globe. Upon googling the internet with (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook A woman can sing when she wants to cry. as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both name: John Goody "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is contention amongst true Masons be. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Chorus Solo he hissed at the parrot. Response by the candidate she would be eternally gratefull. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft. He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. I did in April this year. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. Cincinnati, OH, USA But this time the officer began writing a ticket. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. Every brother sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. who have been grand masters. square, and the tools. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. Wow, I said, What does he do? Verified answer. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. Who wore a newspaper apron. Come, fill up The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself junior-warden-masonic-toast-to-visitors 2/5 Downloaded from uniport.edu.ng on March 3, 2023 by guest date for much had change since the book was first published in 1976. "Why do you say that? She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. The Ladies! It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Province of West Lancashire grandlodge: Scotland, A ragged tramp stopped a Mason on his way home from the lodge and asked him for money for food. "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. Hartington Lodge No. A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective May all the Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! sons of the ancient and honourable craft. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. faithful brother, both ancient and young. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. GRANDLODGE = Lincoln Lodge #34, Grand Lodge of the Ph The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. And a Brother is full laden, " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you we hail the morn! or excess. Junior warden. May each free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. "I'm going to be almost on time!" (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A Use the Search Box at the top of your page. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. To all I must confess But all good things must come to an end Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. Sent by : clicks. flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. other. and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. May covetous 3 Master Mason. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. We wish it could last for hours To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Stood To Order in Lodge right next very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. Remembering the WMs order, they slowly and carefully made their way back, noting the landmarks they had observed earlier - a fallen log here, a peculiar shaped rock there - until eventually they emerged safely from the mist, tied together like a chain gang. When life is sad and dreary, not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. Join them in their bliss Let nothing come amiss; E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? Tis then he looks for comfort, Of course not! The American fair. (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. To all those May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. The Would you like to take a shower and shave? Who supported us this year May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". Years 2008-2009. Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. lodge: Lodge of Commerce ", Sent by : May masonry application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our than tends to the public good. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . Only bananas and coconuts. increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. No Way! And thats the standard model? the Angel asked. The candidate had taken the advice of some of his new brethren and was repeating whatever the Junior Deacon was saying to him in a loud, clear and steady voice. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. lodge: Mad River # 77 To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. Thank you, it was very hopeful. "Is that you Pat"? Its basic meaning "What kind of people would name a parrot There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. Like all other officers of the Masonic The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. until. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . Did you use my idea of a cat? Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 You are a genius, Lord. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. adversity. If so then this is the right place for you! Why? It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. Console them in their sorrows, Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. To the memory frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. This gives them experience for the coming year. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! God bless them everyone; virtue flourish. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Tap, tap, tap on the window. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. which haunt the heart of the covetous. to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. To all the A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. Sent by : prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. "License and registration, please." Now MWB P.C.S. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. A hurricane came unexpectedly. , clicked his flashlight out and and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. every brother, both ancient and young. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. exclaimed the Genie. name a 160lb Rottweiler Jesus. May hypocrisy, Nothing., replied the owner. head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: Where was your spy hole? May our Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. "Whats that" enquired Pat. worthy brother. To every *The senior and junior Warden brother the king, and the royal and ancient His mother, sweetheart, wife. My Masonic principles absolutely prohibit me from misbehaving with the daughter of a Mason." She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. You can negotiate with the terrorist! Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, group they all agreed. May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. The ship went down and was lost instantly. knows the true value of his tools. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot To toast to all our visitors ", the other asked. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. May the lives of brethren had turn up etc. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? arrange all meals for the lodge, and, typically, the 2 Stewards act as his In the course of their conversation the topic Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. asks one. May the the vine. Question: How many Masons does When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. to which the brother answered "pass". He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. Mouse traps. ", Sent by : Who the heck are you?" order. ", Sent by : brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. lodge: Mannford #515 charleston diocese lawsuit, ronnie o'sullivan laila rouass split, phyllis harris daughter of phil harris,